It Weren't Me !!!!

As I've mentioned before on this blog, a number of years ago I got a gmail account and, because I was early on gmail, I got a simple account name, my first initial and my last name (e.g. flastname@gmail.com). I've gotten a lot of mail from people who meant to send it to somebody else whose email was like mine except that it had a number or three after the name (e.g. flastname47@gmail.com). I usually write back and point out the mistake and usually people write back and thank me for catching it. Not today. I'll post the exchange for your amusement.

I got up this morning and saw this in my inbox from Patco Lamp:

So I'd like to know why

1. Your e mailing my wife Sherry?
2. Why does she have your phone number and why would she want to call you to say Howdy and
3. Why are you addressing my wife as "Sweet Lady"?

I'd just like to know before we meet so you can give me a good explanation.......


So I wrote back:


Hi Mr. Lamp, I don't know who you are. I don't know your wife. I haven't called your wife nor have I addressed her in any way. You have the wrong email address. This email sounds pretty threatening to me. I suggest that in the future you don't put threats in writing. It looks real bad in a courtroom.

the wrong guy


To which he replied:

Thats real funny, because your name and your e mail address are on her phone from where you e mailed her. They dont just pop up there on there own.

By now you've figured out that this guy is pissed and he doesn't know how to use an apostrophe and he doesn't know the difference between you're and your or there and they're. So I write back:

Sorry, you got the wrong guy. There are thousands of phughes's out there and I get an email for them about once a day. Usually someone forgets to add some numbers onto the email address. I get emails for Phyllis in Cary, Paul in Toronto, Patricia in Minnesota, Padma in California, Patrick and Peter in England and some hardware store in Australia sends me emails addressed to Paul whenever they have a sale. There's also that pitcher for the NY Yankees. I get a few emails meant for him too. I only know one Sherry and she's a judge. I haven't talked to her in about 7 years when she came to my 50th birthday.

When I get an email clearly intended for someone else, I usually reply because I know the intended person probably didn't get it. Most people write back and thank me for letting them know. You're the first that has answered with a tone of hostility.

Good luck with your quest. You're barking up the wrong tree.

Finally, after about three hours, I get a reply:

Sorry, I do have the wrong Phil, thanks for the info about adding a digit. Sorry for the inconvienence.

I think he spelled "inconvenience" wrong. Anyhow, I showed this to my coworkers and before we get the last email, we do a little research. It is a research lab after all. As it turns out, "Patco Lamp" isn't his name. It's the name of a "Christian" lighting store, in Fort Worth, Texas. And if you look at who runs the place, you'll find that it's run by three Patterson's (hence Patco), a man, John, and two women, one of whom is named Sherry and the other named Janet.

We were trying to think of some way to get back at whoever sent the rather threatening email. Maybe we could tell Sherry that her husband was snooping in her phone. We could call all the Philip Hughes' in the Fort Worth area and tell them that they were in trouble. Tim, imagining some right wing, religious, gun nut getting into his F150 and driving up from Texas to shoot us all, was urging that we let it drop. And then the final email came and we decided that might be a good idea.

Though I did think of asking for a lamp for my troubles.